Climbing to his pedestal
by Alanna-twins
Summary: It was Abarai Renji who had opened his eyes through defying him, and fighting him, with a hope and determination that had never run through Byakuya's own body." A ByaRen-ff. Collaboration by Zorba and Arakida-Ayano.
1. Chapter 1

It was Abarai Renji who had opened his eyes through defying him, and fighting him, with a hope and determination that had never run through Byakuya's own body. Renji had built a wall in his way, one that he could not scale. Dug a ravine to prevent his retreat, and encircled him with a feeling of emptiness. A want for emotion. He had been made to realise that he was arrogant, conceited, stubborn and very much alone. And Kuchiki Byakuya, for no reason he could comprehend, wished more than anything to remedy that. More than ever he wondered: how?

As he watched from the window of 4th squad, Byakuya came to see that those people he watched going about their daily business below were living and breathing, and appreciating their lives as he had not done. He would have thought of them as ants, as less than human before all of this. There was a spark between them, he observed, an eagerness and happiness for everything around them. Byakuya wondered what that was, why they felt it. Would Renji be able to explain it to him?

And as the weeks drew on, and Aizen's grip on them all became excruciating, unpredictable, even frightening, although the noble would not admit it himself, Byakuya glared out of his own office window. He thought he saw something different again in the people below him, a desperation to hang on to those around them. They were making the most of the time they had together. Who would Byakuya share that time with?

He saw the strain in everyone. Without three Captains, the Gotei 13 was stumbling, it was limping. Renji became the responsible Fukutaicho he had never really been before, and every day Byakuya looked at the man he had grown to love and wished that he was not noble. Renji became the Captain's goal in life but he was out of reach. Byakuya could not have Renji to share this time of trouble with. Everything in his world seemed to forbid it; his family especially. The Taicho was so repressed, so mixed up in habits and formality that he had decided quite early in this secret admiration, that he would not be able to do anything about it. He would not pursue it, but suffer in silence as his punishment for years of neglecting those around him, and even himself. If they became equal, he promised himself, in status, then he would be able to admit his feelings and be rejected gracefully. Would Renji even think about loving him?

He knew such a situation would never come around. Renji would always be on a pedestal to Byakuya, and to the Kuchiki family, in a gutter. It was simply not meant to be, the noble told himself, pulling away from his musings once again and turning his attention back to his paperwork. He really did think too much. Instead he looked over the hard-working form of his Fukutaicho.

It was late, he smiled gently, yet here Renji was, dutifully finishing his own paperwork, and half of the paperwork of 3rd squad on top of that, voluntarily. "Abarai-kun." he whispered, but he was heard. "Hai, Taicho?"

"You may leave, I shall finish this," he replied, looking back to his desk in a final way. He gave no space for Renji to argue and the Fukutaicho quietly succumbed to it.

Creeping out of the office, Renji slid the door shut silently behind him and Byakuya listened to his steps as he faded into the darkness and shadows. It was a cold night. But Byakuya knew he would see Renji in the brightness of the morning.

There were clouds on the horizon.

Byakuya awoke at the same time as he usually did.

He, as always, got dressed, put his kenseikan in his hair, ate breakfast, and headed to his office.

When he arrived, Renji was already there, which was rare. Even if he had become more responsible, he never came to work before Byakuya did. "Abarai-kun, Why may I ask, are you are here this early?" he asked, hiding his curiosity.

"Couldn't sleep, that's all." Renji said tiredly.

Byakuya sat down at his desk, where a pile of paperwork was laying already.

They weren't even halfway through the day when Rikichi, Renji's 'fanboy', came into the room. "Taicho, Yamamoto-sou-taicho asked me to give you this."

He handed Byakuya a letter. When he had read it, he stood up. "Abarai-kun, Rikichi-kun, we need to go."

"Eh?" Renji looked up from his paperwork, and Byakuya felt that odd feeling he always felt when

he was looking at his Fukutaicho. He turned his gaze away from Renji, and went out from the office.

He heard his two subordinates follow him.

They arrived at First Division soon after that, and there, they met Hitsugaya-Taicho and

Matsumoto-Fukutaicho. "Kuchiki-Taicho, do you know what is going on?" the white-haired captain asked.

"No." Byakuya answered bluntly.

"You are probably wondering for what reason it is that I have asked you all to come." said

Yamamoto-sou-Taicho to the assembled squad members. "We are here to appoint new captains to the divisions 3, 5, and 9."

"Oh?" Matsumoto said, surprised.

"As the new captain of ninth squad, we have chosen Hisagi Shuuhei, and as his lieutenant, we

have picked Kira Izuru."

"What?!" Hisagi yelled, shocked. The only reaction they got from Kira was the thump as he hit the floor unconscious.

"And the new Fukutaicho for the third division will be Kuchiki Rukia." Yamamoto continued.

"Eh?" came the response from said shinigami.

"Her Taicho will be Tsumaya Ren."

"EH?" Renji was surprised, just as his captain was, though, Byakuya didn't show it.

"That was certainly a surprise," a female voice said. It was a girl, she seemed like she was the

same age as Byakuya. She had long brown hair, eyes like sapphires, she wore the black shinigami robes, but her sleeves were yellow, her big blue butterfly-obi reached down to the floor.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Renji shouted straight over the room, pointing at the girl.

"How rude, Renji." the girl, Ren, said.

"Silence!" Yamamoto-sou-Taicho said. Renji and Ren instantly became quiet.

"The sixth divisions new Fukutaicho will be Rikichi."

"Ah?" Rikichi gasped. Byakuyas eyebrows twitched.

Renji shouted "WHAT?!"

"And the new captain for the fifth division will be... Abarai Renji."

Renji (and Byakuya) looked at Yamamoto with pure shock.

Abarai Renji was not at all pleased. Right at the top of his list of "situations not to get yourself into" was being a Captain of the Gotei 13. Right under prostitution- but he was pretty sure he could have at least attempted to cope with even that eventuality.

He was given a box for his things, even though all he really had on his desk was a calligraphy set and overdue paperwork. He sighed, it wasn't the he didn't feel honoured, it was just that his recent brush with his Taicho in battle had made him re-evaluate his strength, to question his responsibility as a Fukutaicho. Renji was so lost in this thought that he didn't register the faint thrum of cloudy reiatsu that signaled his Captain's bad mood, nor the way it changed to a rapid pulse as the Captain entered Renji's office.

"Renji," Byakuya attempted coolly from the doorway. "I will take that paperwork off your hands, there is no need to take it with you." The Vice Captain smiled and looked up. He would miss working under Byakuya-Taicho, yes, there would be nobody to take his paperwork off his hands for him where he was going. "Arigato, Taicho."

The noble floated forwards and gathered it up, hiding the way he was secretly so angry. He went to the door and paused. There was something he hadn't said. Renji frowned seeing him stop in the entrance. "Congratulations, Abarai-Taicho, the Sixth Division will miss you." And so will I.

Renji looked down at his desk, his Captain's shadow moving on. It's you I'll miss, Kuchiki Taicho.

Byakuya massaged his temples and straightened Renji's paperwork where it sat on his own desk. This was a difficult situation, he closed his eyes in thought. So many things I should-

"Ne, Byakuya-onii!" Ren teased as she waltzed in, dragging up a chair and dragging Byakuya out of his thoughts, swiveling into it gracefully she sat upright in a mock imitation of Kuchiki Taicho. This was not somebody Byakuya wished to see right now. "So, Kuchiki-Taicho's lovely Renji has flown the nest, his identical fanboy is to become the new 6th squad vice captain, inevitably sent by fate to haunt the lonely office of Byakuya-sama, whilst the Captain himself still fails to gather the courage to run into his one true love's arms and admit it. Would you like a cup of tea?"

"No thank you." Byakuya forced out, getting up to file away some paperwork, anything to put this woman off. She had always been irritatingly good at reading his every twinge, his every expression and move. Unlike Renji, part of him commented.

"Ne, Bya? Are you alright?" she said, a little concerned about the effects of her outburst. Byakuya gave her a look that screamed "Do I look alright?" and carried on filing random paperwork. Ren gave a sigh and took the paperwork off the older Captain. "If you want to be rescued, Bya-bou, a pretty prince like you has two options: you can sit around and wait for the ignorant knight-in-shining-armour to buck up his ideas however long that could take, or you can go and get him yourself." There was a fire in this childhood friend of Renji's that Byakuya recognised, and he nodded to himself.

He had to be brave, and climb up the pedestal that he had set Renji upon, instead of waiting a-top of the one on which he had placed his career as a Captain of the Gotei 13. He knew what was more important for a change.

Byakuya stood up from his chair and walked to the door.

He looked back at Ren, who was currently reading a document, upside down, just as she liked to do.

"Ren." She looked up. "Yeah?" "Do not touch a thing."

"Bu-" the door was shut. Byakuya was already outside, on his way to Renji's office.

Byakuya stopped by the door, hesitating. He did not want Renji to leave, yes. But Byakuya was not used to express his feelings. And none the less, if you'd overlook his facade, Byakuya was a very shy person.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He did not know why he did so, but he felt like he had to. He got no answer, therefore, he knocked again.

And again. When he did not get an answer in the following frustrating minutes, he slid the door open.

And found the room empty.

Byakuya quietly entered the room, stone façade almost breaking. Why had Renji left without telling him?

Byakuya let his gaze travel over the room. Then, he turned around, walking back to his office.

Upon entering, he was greeted by a sight that was NOT beautiful.

Ren was sitting in his chair, holding an upside down piece of paper, scanning it's contents lazily.

The papers was definitely NOT in the same piles as they were before, seeing as there were seven piles of paper, instead of only two.

"Ren." Byakya said sternly.

"That was fast, Bya-pon." she said, not looking up from the papers.

"What did I tell you before I went?" Byakuya could barely keep his anger out of his voice.

"You told me not to touch a thing." she answered him. "It did not go well, did it?" she questioned,

even though she already knew the answer.

"Out of my office." he said, as calm as he could.

She swayed up from his chair, then swiveled down in the chair she had used earlier. "Want a cup of tea now, then, Bya-chan?" she asked him.

"No thank you." Byakuya said, as polite as he could manage.

"Hmmm..." she tipped her head to the side. "Why not, may I ask?"

"I would rather not risk my health."

"That's mean..." she pointed out.

"That may be so, but I'm only speaking the truth."

"You want me to leave." she stated calmly.

"How did you guess...?" he asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Hm... I don't know..." she said with a grin. "But I have work to attend to, so I will take my leave."

"Is that so...?" Byakuya said.

Ren stood up from the chair. "But, you know, Bya-kun... If you want help, or someone to talk

to, you can count on me." she walked towards the door. As she passed the older captain, she ruffled his hair. "Don't tire yourself out by thinking."

Then, she was gone...

Byakuya let out a sigh, of both relief that she was finally out of his sight, and out of sadness.

"Weird-eyebrows-Taicho-sama," Rukia saluted as she raced up to Renji outside the fifth squad gates. Renji grinned and said "An' for that I could suspend ya! But I won't. Anyway, shouldn't you be at third squad, Short-Ass Fukutaicho-chan?"

"Renji! Speaking to a member of the Kuchiki house in such a way is punishable by more than suspension of office!" she said in a serious imitation of her brother. She couldn't keep up the facade for long and the pair spluttered in giggles for a moment. Renji indicated that "Miss Kuchiki" should go first up the steps into fifth squad.

The whole of the squad stood in two lines in the courtyard, and bowed as their Captain came through the wide gates. "Abarai Taicho, yoroshiku onegai shimasu!" they chorused. Rukia whispered "Eh?! They're so serious, Taicho-sama." Renji smiled weakly.

At that moment, Renji could not have felt less like a Captain. Cardboard box still in his hands, his sixth squad insignia still squeezing his upper arm where it was tied, his heart missing Byakuya already and here, stranded in this unfamiliar garden surrounded by people that he was meant to be responsible for. He sighed, then got a grip of himself.

"Right then. We better start with the basics. We have no Fukutaicho, we are in the middle of a war against our own, I reckon right now my desk is gonna be full of paperwork, and I am still gettin' over this whole situation. I won't take any shit from any o'ya cos I ain't got time for it. I want us t'be a team, and I want to be able t'say I know each 'n' every one of my subordinates. But I need your help. I'm one of ya, I dunno how to be a Captain. I'll help y'all out, and you help me. OK?"

"Hai, Abarai-Taicho," barked the bank of officers at the front end of each line. It left Renji feeling a bit more sure of his situation, and the strength of…..dare he say "his" squad? "Right. Now, where the hell is my office?" he asked.

Rukia and him closed the office door behind them and Renji slumped against his new desk-eyeing vaguely the stacks of paperwork on a table nearby. The room was dark, and smelled of wax. There was a huge hole where his Captain's pinewood desk should have been, the scent of peppermints and sakura blossoms out of the window, the view of the sky. He distinctly disliked being on the ground floor but he supposed it made him more accessible.

"Renji, what's wrong?" Rukia asked instinctively.

"I wasn't ready to leave, that's all," he turned away and started to unpack his things, lining up the few objects on his desk parallel to each other. Rukia sighed "And Rikichi isn't ready to lead, and I doubt Ni-sama will know how to lead without you."

"He'll be fine. He always has been an' he always will be. As for Rikichi, Byakuya-Taicho will teach him just right. He'll do better than I will. He's more….conscientious." Renji said firmly. "I don't think it's a matter of Rikichi's skill, more Ni-sama's preference."

"And what's that meant to mean?" scoffed Renji.

"He chose you." Rukia smiled, patting him affectionately on the arm and leaving quietly.

That certainly gave him something to think about, he decided, as he checked his black ink had not spilled. It had dribbled a small way down one side of the bottle and he wiped it off with one thumb. Renji got down to the bottom of his box and found an unused candle which gave the whole box a distinct lavender-smelling twinge. It was not his. Damn! He had taken one of Byakuya's candles! He had to find some excuse to return it now, and it would be oh so awkward. Renji sighed once more, then decided he'd done too much moping about and stalked from the office on a mission to meet his officers. Maybe he could delegate some of that paperwork? And damn it he wanted his white coat!


	2. Chapter 2

Renji increased his pace as soon as he got out of the 6th squad territory, heading towards the 5th division.  
He was afraid that Byakuya would change his mind and call him back.  
He let out a sigh of relief once he arrived at the door of his office. He slid it open and sat down at his desk.  
He put his arms under his head as a pillow, meaning to think, but instead, falling asleep.

He awoke late the following day, realising that he now was in his own room, his own bed. *How did I get here?* he thought to himself.  
He sat up in his bed, looking around the room. He noticed a note beside the sheets and picked it up.  
The first part was written in a flowing script.

"Oi, Ahou-chan. Don't fall asleep in your office again. You might catch a flu or something.  
--T.R."

The second part was messier and scratchy.

"Weird eye-brows-taicho, you should listen to Ren-taicho, sometimes."

Renji frowned. Why had those two been to his office, anyway? he wondered.  
He came to think of something that Byakuya had said to Ren earlier. "What are you doing here? You have already visited once."  
When had she been there? Was it before he had left, or after? And why had Ren said that the first person that came into her mind to ask was Byakuya?  
There were many things that Renji did not understand, and he was getting dizzy just thinking about it.  
He sighed and got up. After putting on his clothes, that he realized, blushing, that the two females had taken off of him, and he went to look for someplace to get some breakfast, or more like lunch...

After he had eaten, he was once again filled with the determination he had felt last night, when he left Byakuya's office.  
Or maybe he was just too full of food...

He walked to the fifth division, and into his office. He started working on all the paperwork that was now piled up on the desk, not even looking up once, to look out the window.

But as the day passed by, and the pile of paperwork grew smaller, Renji sighed and leant back in the chair, stretching his tired muscles.  
Renji started to wonder why Byakuya had not done anything to punish Renji for his harsh words towards the other, and when he started thinking of it, he finally started to believe that the older shinigami was still planning something.  
*Man, I've really done it now, haven't I?* he thought, feeling a sting of panic. *What if Byakuya tries somethin'? What'll I do then?*

Byakuya was indeed planning. He was furiously planning, but it was not a plan against Renji, it was a rigorous attempt within Byakuya's own mind to untangle himself. He wanted to know exactly how this would go. He wanted to know himself, before he did anything, exactly how he would approach the subject. He wouldn't be able to do anything without planning it in exact detail. The most important moment of his life, the pinnacle of his emotion, the very core of his soul all depended on careful and strategical planning.

And it made his head hurt. As he would say, it gave him the most intense and vicious headache he had ever had. Even worse than those he experienced at the very height of the most stressed days he could recall.

All the while, all that was buzzing and bouncing around inside his very full memory were the words he used to make a promise: If they became equal in status, then he would be able to admit his feelings.

This question was indeed the very one that gave him this monster hollow of a migraine.

Rikichi tripped as he burst into the room to dutifully deliver the last round of paperwork for the day. He saluted hurriedly, trying desperately to look serious and capable. Byakuya had little patience for the act, but kept his patience carefully.

That is, until Rikichi did not leave as was expected. "Ano….Taicho……."  
A sigh, a shifting of silk, a hard gaze, and Byakuya was looking at the boy expectantly. "I…..apologise…..for my uselessness." Byakuya would have coldly snapped at him to stop it and leave, had he not seen a flash of those tattoos, and then a glint as a tear ecaped down the young man's tanned cheek. He let out a quiet sob. Byakuya shifted to get out of his chair and walked briskly towards his subordinate. This served to make Rikichi cower and back off three steps.

Byakuya's breath caught. And his throat rattled.  
Am I that frightening? No wonder I have spent my life alone and miserable. (He was really not in the best of moods.) He recoiled himself a second, before gaining his confidence once again, as a superior officer if not a man.

"Rikichi. I am sure you are dealing with the duties of a Vice Captain to the very best of your abilities. I do not doubt your commitment." He said slowly, quietly, taking another, more gentle step to put a hand on Rikichi's shoulder. The look in his eyes: the shock and the utter amazement was enough to make Byakuya even more depressed. He really was that scary. He sighed.

"But, Taicho, compared to Renji….."  
" You are not Renji. Therefore you cannot compare yourself to him." He snapped. "Try to be your own person, and for god's sake, be strong. I do not want you crying at the slightest thing. It's simply not practical." Byakuya turned back swiftly to his desk, and started to pack away his brushes. "Go home."

The things one found out on a voyage of self discovery, mused the Captain, although, a better analogy would be a battle. Finding out the ugly truths of one's own deeper character was a fight with one's pride, balance and very personality. Rikichi left.

If only Renji knew what he was putting his ex-captain through. Then again, if only Byakuya knew what he was putting his ex-Vice Captain through.

Renji looked at his squad. It was really early in the morning, and they were  
all training. He would have rather been in his bed still, but he had made his  
decision. He would show Byakuya just how good he could be as a captain.  
Therefore, he was training with his squad, instead of training by himself.  
It was actually quite fun doing so. And he also wanted to get to know his  
Squad members.

Reading and signing papers was the opposite, though. But he already knew  
that. He had been working under Byakuya, after all, and he was a hard  
taicho.

He sighed as he signed the last paper. It was time for lunch now, and he  
headed for the hall in which they ate.  
"You know, you never cease to surprise me. That's why you're so interesting."  
Renji turned around. "Why are you here?"  
"What's that? Huh?!" Ren suddenly had Renji in a headlock. "Am I not allowed  
to visit my little brother, all of a sudden, if I feel like it?!"  
"You're not my sister!" Renji growled, trying to get out of Ren's headlock,  
without any luck. "And you haven't answered my question!"  
"Whatever." Ren said, relaxing, but not letting go of Renji. "Besides,  
earlier on, you saw me as your sister." She sighed. "You were so cute when  
you were small. Now you're just giving me trouble!"  
"How do I give YOU trouble?!" Renji bursted, finally breaking free from the  
headlock.  
"For example..." she said "You know, just the other day, you fell asleep in  
your office... And me and Rukia had to bring you to your room."  
"You didn't really have to do that..." Renji muttered, bushing when he  
remembered that they had undressed him.  
"But of course, big sisters always help their cute little brothers. And Rukia  
was glad she could help." Ren teased. Renji glared at her. "Whatever... Just  
don't go around and boast about it..."  
"Hm...? Why not?" Ren smiled widley. "It'd be sooo fun to tell people about  
it. Especially some people."  
"Just. Don't. Tell. Anyone. About. It." Renji sourly said, marking every word.  
"Alright, alright!" Ren said, her hands up in defeat. "But anyway, I came  
here to see how it was going for you."  
"I think it's going good." Renji answered. "But I'm still not completely  
used to this being a captain and all... You know it's not really my... thing..." He sweatdropped.  
"You can't change who you are. And besides, you wouldn't be you, if you  
weren't yourself..."  
"Whatever. Could you leave now? I need to eat, so I can continue working..."  
Renji muttered.  
"I was just going to!" Ren said. "Just remember, I'll be here if you need to  
talk. Well, not exactly here, on this spot, but at my office, or there  
around... Or something." Renji just glared at her. "Ja ne!" she chirped.  
Then she walked away.  
"God, she can be so annoying..." Renji mumbled to himself, and went back to  
his office. He had lost his appetite.

Days past by, and Renji - finally - got used to be a captain. What irritated  
him the most was Ren's frequent visits, though. And that Byakuya had not  
done anything to him yet. He looked at the window and shuddered. He didn't  
like the rain especially much. It was so... wet…

Byakuya took a brief glance out of his office window. It was time, he thought to himself, satisfied. The rain heralded a new start, in his mind. It cleared the air, it washed the scenery of it's mundane and cracked old facade and made it blossom with new, fresher colours. His spirit lifted. He would go to Renji. Today. This afternoon to be exact.

It rained, it pounded the ground, it darted and sliced through the air. He found it exhilarating to open the front door and watch his squad rushing through it's knife-like glances. He himself took a thick black haori from next to the door and discarded his white robe in it's favour, draping it carefully over his shoulders, tucking his hair into the neckline to keep it dry as he stepped out under the veiled clouds, striding swiftly from under one balcony to the next, walking out of the squad gate and using shunpo to dart to fifth squad.

It was sandier in fifth. The occasional sparse fir tree looming over the courtyards and towering squad buildings, winding corridors and spaces. Everybody looked exceedingly happier than at his own squad, and they almost, Byakua tried to find the words, played, in this humid rain. They laughed. They trained, they wrapped up piles of paperwork in brown paper, rushing from one building to another. His own squad paperwork halted to a standstill in such weather, for Byakuya's fear of crinkled paper. He made directly for Renji's office on the dark ground floor of an old building the other side of the courtyard, the entrance of which was directly sheltered by one of these sparse evergreen trees. He knelt to one knee in the relative dry dust to knock, then quickly entered.

It was a sight. Renji himself in rolls of the brown paper and string, wrapping parcels up delicately to send to the Sou-Taicho. He creased perfect right-angles around the corners, tongue out in concentration. "Put the next pile down there, Kiba." he muttered hurriedly, taking a quick glance up from his work, then another. His mouth fell open and the ends of the string, which he had been holding gently with his teeth, dropped into his lap. Why was Kuchiki Taicho here? And why was he dressed so casually? "I apologise for interrupting, Abarai Taicho." Renji noticed a careful stress on the honorific. Taicho, Renji smiled, yes, he supposed he was.

"Ano…...it's no problem. I can pass these onto another officer, Kuchiki Taicho." Renji pushed them aside and rose from his seat. "Tea?" His hands were shaking, and he had to hide them from his ex-Captain's view. "Thank you Renji, that would be most suitable." Byakuya quickly tried to unstick the wet hair from his cheeks, feeling flustered, and certainly feeling the humidity. He pulled the haori off his shoulders and hung it over the back of a nearby chair. "So, anythin' I can do for ya Taicho?"  
"No, Renji," Byakuya paused "I merely…." he paused again, steeling himself "...came to apologise for my behaviour towards you several weeks ago, it was wrong of me to insult you in such a manner. Especially when your squad seems…." Byakuya pulled one of those small smiles, looking down into his lap. He was surprised at how easy this felt, this concept of sharing his emotions. Renji was aghast, staring, watching, perhaps a little too carefully, the every movement of the noble. "…..happy. And successful. You are a strong leader, Renji, in ways that I have never been able to imitate or live up to, and you are obviously much more innovative than I could imagine." He eyed the brown paper parcels once again. Renji looked proud.

Byakuya stood up carefully and bowed low, "I ask for your forgiveness." Renji froze for a moment, then smiled. He was a Captain of equal rank, and he lay his hand on Byakuya's shoulder, nudged him so that he stood up straight. "I've missed ya, Byakuya. It's you that I missed more than anythin'."

Ren streched and yawned. She was humming a happy tune to herself as she walked through the deserted halls of the third division barrack.  
"Ah! Ohayo gozaimasu, taicho." Rukia said, bowing politley to her captain.  
"You're here early, ain't you, Rukia-chan?" Ren asked.  
"Uh... Yes... I had some unfinished papers to take care of." Rukia replied.  
"Huuuh... 's that so?" Ren looked Rukia up and down.  
"What is it, taicho?" Rukia asked, a bit exasperated.  
"Let's have a one on one girl-talk, Rukia-chan!" Ren clasped her hands together, looking at Rukia with pleading eyes.  
"If you say so, taicho..." Rukia said, a little confused about the womans eagerness.  
"No no... Y'got it all wrong, Rukia-chan." Ren said, a little of her Rukongai-ben showing through again. "T'is a request as an ol' frien'." Ren smiled warmly at the smaller shinigami.  
"Are we really that much friends yet, taicho?" Rukia wondered. "We'd only met a few times before you became my superior, and I almost only knew you by name."  
Ren got a sullen look on her face. "Rukia-chan don't like me... Now Ren-san got really really sad..."  
"Taicho, please stop sulking. You mean nothing by it, anyway..." Rukia sighed. "I am your friend, alright?"  
Rens head snapped up, and the young captain smiled eagerly at her vice-captain. "Really? Y'really mean that, Rukia-chan?"  
"Yes, I do..." Rukia sighed again. "You said something about talking, taicho?"  
"Oh, yes I did, indeed..." Ren became her normal, collected self again. "Come on. To my office we go."  
Ren walked happily in front of Rukia, humming on another song.  
Rukia caught some of the words. She sighed. Again. "Taicho. You don't have to sing on a walking song on this short trip."  
"I don't?" Ren asked, honestly suprised.  
"No, you don't..." Rukia replied.  
"Ok then. Then I'll sing cuz I wanna." The captain of the third division chirped happily. She continued with her singing.

"Sooo..." Ren started. "How does it feel like, now that you seem like you've gotten used to being a fukutaicho?"  
"Well... I actually think it's fun. Especially being in your division." Rukia replied.  
"So I'm not a bad captain, I hope..."  
"Taicho, are you worried about that?" Rukia asked.  
"A bit..."  
"There's no need for you to be, taicho. You're a great captain." Rukia assured. "Was there anything else?"  
"Oh. Yes. I had another question for ya." Ren shifted into another position in her chair. "How's Bya-pon?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I met him yesterday evening, outside the 5th division. He seemed... weird..."  
"Outside the 5th squad? I wonder why he was there..." Rukia mumbled. "I actually haven't seen him since yesterday morning... I got home late and went straight to bed. He had already gone when I woke up..."  
"Awoken abnormally early, even for him, then... Hm... Should we eavesdrop on him?"  
"Taicho! That's madness!" Rukia bellowed.  
"It is?" Ren looked suprised. "He won't notice us. I'll teach you something after you've finished those papers. And you can give me some, too." Ren offered.  
"Taicho... You really do want to eavesdrop on nii-sama, don't you?"  
"Yup. So I'll teach ya some stuff so that not even the high and mighty Kuchiki Byakuya-sho will be able to notice us." Ren smirked. "Now hurry up and get those papers done, Rukia-chan."  
"Hai, taicho."

Byakuya turned away from Renji's burning amber gaze, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. He felt so human, desired, accepted. He studied the floor, trying to open his mouth to break the drumming of rain on the ground, the beating of his heart, the rhythm. He wanted to tell Renji how he had missed him, craved him, hated himself for being distant and cold and arrogant.

Renji's eyes burnt that image into his memory. He saw a man changed. Byakuya, downcast, heavy eyelashes falling to his cheek and forlorn expression playing across pale skin. His eyes were dark with thoughts unexpressed. He looked so beautiful. He instinctively leant towards him, breathing out a sigh.

Renji broke out of his daze and turned away, removing his hand quickly from Byakuya's shoulder. He was indeed a Captain, but not such a Captain that he could summon enough courage to kiss that man. To love that man. Especially because he knew that it would not be welcomed by Kuchiki Byakuya.

The noble watched Renji pull away, the expression of gentleness leaving his eyes as he became professional again. Byakuya felt angry to be denied what he wanted. "Renji." he called. "I cannot cope without you."

"What the hell does he mean by that?" Ren muttered, peeking through the small hole she had made in the paper.  
"Huh?" Rukia glanced at her taicho. "What?"  
"'Cannot cope without you'. Come look."  
"No thanks..." Rukia muttered. "I'd rather not."  
"Chicken." Ren teased.  
The older woman turned back to look at Byakuya and Renji.

"I- I don't understand what you mean, Kuchiki-taicho..." Renji mumbled, shuffling his feet uncomfortably. "Ya need ta explain t'me..."

"Yes, do." Ren nodded from her position behind the wall.

Byakuya looked up towards the door. "I don't think I do, however. You can think about it by yourself." He started to walk towards the door. " If you will excuse me."

"Byakko! Idiot! Renji, do something!" Ren mouthed.

Rukia caught the unsaid words and finally decided to watch. She poked a small hole in the wall. "I see..." She whispered to herself.  
"Taicho!" Renji bursted. "Please wait a sec!"  
Byakuya stopped. "I didn't even know you could use the word 'please', Abarai-taicho."

"Bya-pon..." Ren muttered to herself. "What's with the sarcasm...?"

"Byakuya." Renji said.  
Byakuya turned around.  
Renji was looking him straight in the eye, standing at his full height. "Explain... please."

Byakuya, now as many times before, suddenly found himself incapable of words. He would simply have to find some other means of properly expressing himself...


End file.
